Why does it feel like betrayal is the worse personal crime against us?

 

 We expect certain behaviours from people who fill certain roles in our lives. We have a set idea of what a mother, a lover, a friend does. And when someone does something contrary to these ‘rules’ of behaviour, we feel betrayed.

 

Is that really fair? Who says a mother has to choose their child over another option? Social convention? History? Personal expectation?

 

Who says a friend has to always be honest? Again – is this the reflection of desire rather than reasonable expectation?

 

People betray each other, their country, their families, their gods, all the time. And yet every time it happens the affected people are shocked.

 

Mothers leave their babies to die so they can go out and party, friends sleep with their friend’s spouses, people lie, cheat and steal all the time, every single day. And yet we gnash our teeth and pull our hair every time we are the victim.

 

We need to grow up as a species and realise, finally, that we cannot impose our expectations of others onto them. Just cos I want you to always love and respect me does not mean you will. And I can’t make you.

 

We pathetically hang onto the fact that ‘he promised!’ as though that means anything in the greater scheme of things.  People are essentially selfish – each one of us is designed to make sure we get ourselves as far as possible in life. We only stop alongside another person to make sure we have offspring to pass the baton of genes too, not cos we want to improve that person’s life. Not really. Altruism does not exist – everyone gets something out of everything they do. And they will do that which gives them the most reward.

 

That we expect anything different from anyone is a reflection of our own naivety rather than their flaws as a human.

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