Why do we say these three little words to people?

Really why?

Deeply, in our most honest of places – why?


We tell our children because we want them to feel safe and valued and important. We want them to know they matter to us. But why do we tell lovers we love them? What do we expect it to mean? Does ‘I love you’ ever really just mean that I am telling you how I feel? Or does it always come with a …… after it?


I think we tell people we love them so that they will treat our hearts carefully, so they will care back for us. I think someone loving you is a huge responsibility. As soon as you know someone loves you, you have to treat them better; you hold their hearts in your hands.

Too often ‘I love you’ is a power thing.

Too often ‘I love you’ is a demand.

Too often ‘I love you’ is an excuse.

Love, as Oprah said, is not an emotion, it is a series of events. It is a verb, not a noun. It is an action, many little actions, not a statement.

And much too often, ‘I love you’ is about me, and what I feel, and not you.


I prefer ‘You are loved.’