The only way UP could be used to describe the walk I just had was if you put a four lettered word before it. The god of comedy of situation was out in full force today.

Getting the dogs out of the car is always a tricky one – I have to block the door, attach them one at a time to their leads, and then let them out. So at any stage I have a number of dogs in the car desperate to get out, and a number out of the car desperate to get into the park. So that’s always good for a laugh.

Today as I got them all out Dorothy managed to slip out of her harness, and feeling the lack of restraining leash, went a gambolling. I called, her. She heard. And promptly ignored me. Ideally I would have gone straight to her, been very stern and reattached her. Only Ozzie and Pippa had by then discovered delicious smells in opposite directions. Thank goodness I have orangutan arms and got to her before she ran into the road.

Untangle the leads and off we go. Only other people walk their dogs with no leads and my dogs are always super excited to see other dogs and run at them. I am trying to train mine not to but we haven’t got there yet. So three times this walk I had three dogs I was pulling back towards me as they wriggled and tried to sniff the new dog, the uncontrolled dog! They clearly did not go to military school because there is no controlled advance. No, there is jumping and running and leaping and coming back to me to make sure I have seen the other dog, and falling over each other and generally being fools. All while attached to leads I am holding. Expectedly, the three leads look like a bowl of spaghetti trying to learn to break dance.

After sitting trying to control dogs who want to walk while I untangle a knot of epic proportions, I finally gave up and let them walk together in their tangled mess. At which point another unleashed dog came past, mine ran with joy to say hello, and both girls broke their leashes. Mayhem ensued with the owner of the other dog doing precisely, exactly, absolutely nothing.

My glasses flew off my shirt, my dogs ran around, my brow sweated and I sat on the ground laughing at what it all must have looked like from afar.

Once I had corralled them all I tied the girls remaining lead bits to Ozzie’s collar and we tried to get back to the car. Only the dogs don’t walk in straight lines so poor Ozzie kept getting leash between his legs, across his nose and around his ears. Poor chap just kept sitting down and looking at me imploringly to release him for the fresh hell he was enduring.

Into the car we get, home we drive.

Yay – it is all over

Only it isn’t. As the dogs jump out of the car I see a pile of regurgitated dog breakfast bigger than any one of the actual dogs in the back of the car.

Bloody brilliant

Frustrating as it all was – it has made me laugh and smile for ages. so its a #100happydays moment – even if a ludicrous one

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