#100happydays Day 16

Friends

They make me happy

This one can make me laugh until we both have tiny eyes

That’s a #100happydays moment for sure

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#100happydays Day 12

People often tell my boyfriend he is living the dream – he gets to live with a professional cook, one who feeds people for a living.

‘aah, the wonders you must taste’ they sigh

‘i bet you eat like royalty’ they muse

‘all those experiments, in your face’ they lament

‘i wish it was me, can i come live with you?’ they ask

Well ha ha ha I say, the joke is on you

We eat a ridiculous number of packets of pop corn, a lot of niknaks, a fair amount of bread and many many meals from our local pub. Because after 8 hours on my feet cooking for others, and after we have spick and spanned the kitchen, there is NO WAY IN HELL i am making a mess again . Uh uh – not ever.

How many of you get home from work and then do it all again for fun? Maybe the two or three hookers I know, but no one else, let’s be honest.

Spreadsheets for fun before dinner – I think not.

(well, unless you are one of the hookers obviously)

Aaaaanyway, the point of all this rambling is that today I decided to make a breakfast of sorts. I do try on the weekend and muffins dirty only a few things so i can cope.

I made bacon and cheese, with cayenne pepper, muffins – and they were delicious

Served with a mint pickle I get from an Auntie in Stanger – they made me happy

#100happydays happy

Flying

1.

As the little girl flew over the handle bars of her bike, she knew that this was going to hurt. Although the fear of the landing was very real and seemed slowly to increase as she headed towards the tarmac in slow motion, the flight was exciting and exhilarating. In a way that is only possible when a disaster is about to occur, time slowed down.

She looked at the grass ahead of the tarmac and hoped she made it that far before hitting the ground; she thought about the fact that perhaps her mother had known better when she told her not to use the front brakes on the bike; she saw her brothers watch her flight with a mixture of terror and humour on their faces; and she flew. She flew free and wild, her hair blowing away from her face, the wind in her eyes.

She flew.

And then she hit the ground, mouth first, slamming into the grass and sliding down the hill on her belly. She left a tooth, most of the skin around her mouth, large amounts of her belly skin and almost all of her knees on the grass as she slid and slid and slid. She came to a shuddering halt against the fence at the bottom of the slope, the wire making diamond shapes on her face she wore for hours. Her bike lay bent and twisted against the pavement, her brothers running to help while trying to control their nervous giggles.

2.

The little girl stood on the swing, holding onto the chains tightly. She swung higher and higher, her knees bending as she thrust her body forward. The foreswing offered a view of the tops of trees and the sky; the backswing showed the girl the hard, rough ground beneath her. The wooden swing felt solid and hard to her bare feet, the chain cold in her grasp.

Taking a deep breath, the girl lifted her feet from the swing, hanging onto the chains with white knuckled determination. 1……2…..3…….4…..5….. she counted, watching as the swing and her legs got out of synch. Her hands began to sweat slightly and the grip between them and the chain loosen. She hung on with grim determination as she watched the swing move under her feet and back again, slowing down as she began to slide down the chain. Her palms burning, her knees bent, just before she had to relinquish her grip, her feet found the swing seat and she stood on it. She swung back and forward a few times enjoying the sense of relief before again speeding up, adjusting her grip and bending her knees to gather momentum.

 

baby

It was with a surprising lack of mixed emotions that I heard of the birth of my dear friend’s baby.  All I felt was joy and some oddly inappropriate pride.

And that in itself was amazing. This friend and I and the baby have come a long way.

I dislike babydaddy with a frightening passion. Friend and I ‘broke up’ after years of very close friendship cos babydaddy lied about me and she believed him. I was done and over and even moved away. Then I heard about the baby and got over myself.

She and I have been speaking and have repaired our friendship, with the single exclusion of not talking about him or their relationship. I will never forgive him for lying about me but I will suck it up cos I love her.

But the baby! Now that’s a whole different thing. When found out she was pregnant I was glad for her and angry with the universe in equal measure!
I didn’t get to have a baby and I did all the right things in life. She behaved badly (in my opinion) at the start of this relationship with babydady – and gets rewarded with a child. (I never said it was logical)

When I found out she had asked the Fire in a sweat lodge I was with her in, to replace her anger with a baby, I wept.

I felt like she had cheated by asking.

Luckily she and I always had had a friendship in which we could talk about this kind of thing – and did again. I was distressed beyond expectations that she had asked for a child. And she knew I would be. Which is why she told me – not to hurt me but to get it out and over and done with.

She understood my feelings of being cheated even if they made no sense whatsoever. I was unsure of how I would feel about the actual baby – the existence of it in their unit.

Not that I have any right to feel anything but who said emotions follow the rules?

Yesterday we spoke while she was in labour – she had to hang up when a monster contraction hit. All I felt was joy and excitement. And a tinge of sadness at being so far away – who knows when I will meet the blighter.

Then at 7am this morning she smsed me to say that after 28 hours of labour she had had to have a Caesar at 5am today.

All I felt was joy and gladness and that rush of a miracle that a perfect, whole, intact human being existed in her life and the world.

No envy
No jealousy
No coveting
Not even any begrudging sneer in the direction of babydaddy
Just happiness for my friend and her baby

Who knew I was that mature!