Tag Archive: relief


silence

I woke this morning to blessed, exquisite golden silence.

I lay in my bed slowly becoming aware of the world, relishing the absolute lack of noise.

For the first time in weeks there were no kids making a noise, no baby crying, no inane tv on way too loud. Nothing.

Just silence.

As i stretched and grinned in the early morning light, the silence was gently disturbed by the russet coloured sound of wind through the trees and the silver threads of my wind chimes tinkling in the breeze.

It was a perfect start to a day – one i have missed and lusted after for 18 days; 18 days filled with other people shattering my hermit like controlled existence with the sounds of life; 18 mornings of being woken by the sound of babies crying and cartoons blasting; 18 days of non-stop company; 18 days of being a part of a group; 18 days of forced niceness.

It’s been tough!

I am a crotchety old solitary bitch – and like it like that.

I love my friends and had an awesome time – but one of the highlights of the holiday was the rich, warm, enveloping silence i woke up floating in this morning.

home

It is so unbelievably good to be home. I left on the 23rd of July and, barring a short stop with a pile of people, have not been home since.

 
I have lived in lots of places and in lots of circumstances. I have made a home for myself in an upstairs room in a mansion; in a closet sized hole in London; in a hotel room in Tanzania; in a loft in Mile End; in hostels and boarding houses; alone and in groups; in good  times and bad. I am good at making a home, but i seldom have much attachment to the home.

I move, i wander, i flit.

 

But this home feels like i where i need to be. And it is where i want to be.

 
It smells like me; a mixture of perfume, deodorant and cooking.
It feels like me; soft and warm and comfortable with all sorts of interesting bits and pieces lurking in the corners
It looks like me; generous and abundant, nestling in a flourishing garden, surrounded by growth and promise
It sounds like me; silent with loud splashes and random splurges
It tastes like me; toothpaste and garlic in equal measure

  I love my home
It envelopes me and makes me feel safe

 I am SO glad to be home!