Tag Archive: respect

my mother

Loving one’s mother is compulsory. I think some serious shit has to go down for love directed at a mother to be destroyed.

Liking one’s mother is not as easy or even as compulsory. My mother always gave us space to not like her; and trust me, at some stages of my life I used that space up to the max.

I have discovered a new emotion towards my mother; one I think many modern women struggle to feel towards their mothers, simply because who their mothers are is so different from who they are.


For so many of my peers, our mothers are worlds apart from us. I know many women my mother’s age who were wives and mothers only their whole lives. They raised children and cleaned house; were dutiful and companionable wives and supportive daughters. They looked after their aged parents and went on brief holidays once the kids had left home.

I am not knocking this as a life choice at all. What I do think though, is that for women of my generation; the achievers, the liberated, the free – it is very hard to understand and respect that kind of choice, that kind of life. I know that I would find it very hard to relate to my mother if those had been her life choices for her entire life. I would have no idea what to speak to her about as I create a career for myself.  I would be not able to discuss with her the decision I face in the life I have chosen had hers been as different from mine as it could have been. We simply would have been too different as women and people.


But I am lucky because my mom has made respecting her so much easier for me.


She is so much of what I aspired to be. She is brave and forthright, committed and interested. I watched her this last while doing something I know she struggled to do. I watched her take a deep breath and listened to her voice quiver and catch as she calmed herself down. And I recognised all the signs of discomfort cos they are exactly the same as mine.

But she did it.

She steeled herself and she did it.

My mother’s education places her in a certain social and academic echelon. But her knowledge and her willingness to share it is what places her in a space of respect.

When I am big I am gonna be just like her – only taller

computer etiquette

Why do people seem to think that computers are public space? I find it amazing that someone will ask to log onto my computer to do something. Some of these people even feel they have the right to change settings etc cos ‘it’s better this way’.

 Why do people think that my internet is available for public use? Would they ask to use my phone to phone random people for half an hour? No, I think not. And yet they will use my bandwidth to check their facebook profiles. What gives them the right?

 Why do people think that they have the right to comment on my background/wallpaper/screen saver? Or even look at it, in fact. Or to dig around in my photos? Would you just open photo albums at someone’s house and comment? I should think not. But photos on a personal laptop are fair game?

 Why do we not treat people’s computers as private? Their diaries are. Their desk drawers are. Their notebooks and files are.

 The world in general appears to need to computer etiquette lessons.

 My internet connection and hard drive space is NOT public property. I wish people would stop asking to use it!